the world is your oyster

meisterful:

drochfaol:

ryancrobert:

sexybritishllama:

no cough syrup

you are not ‘grape flavoured’

have you ever tasted a grape

you taste like death and the tears of small children

not fucking grape

wow what a surprise another cis-gendered white upper-middle class american male telling someone what they can and cannot identify as. why don’t you go fuck yourself

#i can no longer tell what is and isn’t a joke on tumblr any more

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Sep 14 14 - 389,541 notes
Sep 14 14 - 121,066 notes

skellagirl:

If you think cats can’t love you as much as a dog then you’ve obviously never had one come lay beside you and purr while you’re in the middle of a crying fit

Sep 14 14 - 42,254 notes

juneplums:

me: I hate arguing

also me: I want him to say something to me so I can go the fuck off on his bitch ass!!!!!!!!

Sep 14 14 - 27,305 notes

mydogsnokes:

o yea the 90s. the 90s were great. fuckin sick. raw as hell. learning how to speak. crying for no reason. shitting in my diaper

Sep 14 14 - 533,300 notes

aradiator:

i hate when people say that women should dress more modestly in order to “leave something to the imagination”. leave what to the imagination? what do people think is under my clothes? a mass of algae? memes? shinji ikari?

Sep 14 14 - 160,565 notes

1atula:

1atula:

1atula:

guys im going to cr y

my middle name starts with i and my first name is carla

my parents got me the license plate icarla

i cant drive my car anymore im leaving the country

GUYS THE PLATE CAME IN AND THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT MISSPELT MY NAME

MY LICENSE PLATE SAYS ICARLY ON IT

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GUYS

(Source: feaqu)

Sep 14 14 - 218,511 notes

liaby:

Is it ironic that I just used knots I learned in Boy Scouts to tie myself to my bed for another guy to fuck me?

Sep 14 14 - 61,632 notes